Friday, August 12, 2011

What do yout think of this zombie story i am writing?

You have a lot of cliches--"didn't click in his brain" and "lump caught in his throat" are two. The writing is also a bit wordy and a little clunky. The beginning isn't very original; many, many stories/novels are started like this. The second paragraph needs to be several paragraphs; every time a different character is written about a new line should be started.

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